Top Ten Books to Make You Laugh

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

This Week’s Topic is Ten Books That Will Make You Laugh

Dear Committee Members by  Julie Schumacher

“This letter recommends Mr. Allen Trent for a position at your paintball emporium. Mr. Trent received a C– in my expository writing class last spring, which—given my newly streamlined and increasingly generous grading criteria—is quite the accomplishment. His final project consisted of a ten-page autobiographical essay on the topic of his own rageful impulses and his (often futile) attempts to control them. He cited his dentist and his roommate as primary sources. Consider this missive a testament to Mr. Trent’s preparedness for the work your place of business undoubtedly has in store. Hoping to maintain a distance of at least one hundred yards, Jason T. Fitger Professor of Creative Writing and English Payne University (“Teach ’til It Hurts”)”

Kill The Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

“I was holding someone captive and all that was going through my mind was a Billboard Top 40 love song. I was going to hell.”

The Heart Goes Last by Margaret Atwood

“That way nobody feels exploited.”

“Wait a minute,” says Stan. “Nobody’s exploited?”

“I said nobody feels exploited,” says Budge. “Different thing.”

Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple

“Those East Coast rich kids are a different breed, on a fast track to nowhere. Your friends in Seattle are downright Canadian in their niceness. None of you has a cell phone. The girls wear hoodies and big cotton underpants and walk around with tangled hair and smiling, adorned backpacks. Do you know how absolutely exotic it is that you haven’t been corrupted by fashion and pop culture? A month ago I mentioned Ben Stiller, and do you remember how you responded? ‘Who’s that?’ I loved you all over again.”

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs Chuck Klosterman

“Contrary to what you may have heard from Henry Rollins or/and Ian MacKaye and/or anyone else who joined a band after working in an ice cream shop, you can’t really learn much about a person based on what kind of music they happen to like. As a personality test, it doesn’t work even half the time. However, there is at least one thing you can learn: The most wretched people in the word are those who tell you they like every kind of music ‘except country.’ People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.”

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

“The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.”

Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

“Why do I do anything?’ she says. ‘I’m educated enough to talk myself out of any plan. To deconstruct any fantasy. Explain away any goal. I’m so smart I can negate any dream.”

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

“I was studying the sky like I was an astronomer, except it was daytime and I didn’t have a telescope, so I was just an idiot.”

American Housewife by Helen Ellis

“I cry because I don’t have the upper-arm strength to flatiron my hair.”

*I’m currently only half way through this book and it is more hilarious than I could have hoped for. Full review soon, but everyone needs to go out and read this.

The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

“This was how things worked. Period. Short of death (immediate family only), dismemberment (your own), or nuclear war (only if confirmed by the U.S. government to be directly affecting Manhattan), one was to be present. This would be a watershed moment in the Priestly regime.”